How much suffering is enough suffering. Who is responsible for your suffering? Are you inflicting it on yourself? I like to investigate these questions. I find them interesting. For a long time I looked outside myself, and sometimes I still do, to find the guilty one for my suffering. Blame and pointing fingers became explanations for why the world looked as it did. I was hardly ever responsible, I was the victim. It was always happening to me.
When reflecting on this state of mind and due to the outlook on life determines the world you live in, the truth of how beautiful life is becomes veiled. After a while this pattern becomes a habit and you are victimised to the point of submission or rage. The gap between you and everything else becomes bigger and you stand alone in the world. How tiny you must feel. How lonely it must be. How alienating being here. You need to keep your guards up and fight or flight mode is always on. How exhausting. What a scary place this must be. Just writing about it makes every part of my body tense.
When I was younger this pattern became a habit. This outlook on life made this place a horrible place to be. I was always exhausted and of course lonely. How did than come to change? I took a long and deep look inside. My way out was in. I listened and took into consideration that the voice inside narrating the world outside me didn’t necessarily voice the truth. I had the power to change the words coming out of the storytellers mount only with the power of belief. As soon as I did the storyline changed. My belief in something bigger than that story woke me up and set me free. It was that simple. It was that easy and yet I’d been creating my own hell for such a long time.
Heaven and hell is a place in you. The Devils voice resides in you. It will deceive and fool you into hate and despair. It catches your attention with the only purpose to lure you down into the burning fire of pain and suffering. You don’t need to follow that voice. Heaven is also a place you can reach within. When you chose love, rise in love you become Gods eye in which everything is beautiful. You are grateful for all that has been granted and all that been denied. Nothing ever moves outside of you but plays out beautifully within. You reflect the light in everything you see.
Whatever you believe in comes into existence and becomes your truth. No one ever treated me as badly as I treated myself. Take a moment and think about it. Are you a victim of the world or are you responsible for the voice inside. Who is the voice and who is the sufferer? Surely you are both. What a beautiful play to be in, you get to play all the parts. The Devil, the victim, the sufferer, the hero, the judge, the punisher and so on. Think about it. It’s all very hilarious when you say it out loud but also very serious when you’re in it, experiencing it. When you confuse it for the truth the pain is real, it burns and hurts until you wake up from the dream.
Are you sleeping?