You know when you’re riding the wave of life, when it’s all flowing perfectly and you are right up there, on the biggest wave just riding along. It’s so effortless and the stream pushes you forward and the only thing you need to do is show up. That’s been my life for the last couple of weeks. No planning required, no stress, no going out of my way and yet still moving forward.
Yesterday I saw the wave, that was supposed to carry me on, disappear. It was a big one and it was supposed to take me on more adventures and it decided not to. That direction wasn’t for me. So where do I stand now and how do I feel about it. Let me tell you. Seeing the wave disappear was sad, I’m not going to lie. But the sadness was from attachment to a promise, a seed planted in my own head. I grieved the loss of this thought while chatting with a friend and then I was left with this funny feeling in my body.
This feeling was mainly a preparation. Riding a wave is fun, it’s adventurous, crazy, high speed. If you remember to look up, you finally get to see where you are at and you see it with such a view it takes your breath away. You're one with that magnificent force of life moving you forward, creating that path for you and all you have to do is to show up and catch it. So what happens after that wave.
First I felt a restlessness arising in my body, then I felt fear and I could watch the urge to want to grab on to something, something certain. So what was it that was so upsetting. To be able to catch another wave you need to dive into the big ocean of the unknown and wait. Feel it out. See where the currents are and remember that you are one with this huge ocean of uncertainty. This is mainly where we hang out in life.
If you fear the unknown, paddling and trying to keep your head above the surface can be exhausting. Remembering that if you soften and stop struggling you float. Even here, you can rest. Even in the ocean of the unknown you have the possibility to feel it carrying you, having your back, lifting you up, loving you. It is from this place that the wave appears, seemingly out of nowhere and again you rise.
Remembering that the adventures and the magnitude of the waves are always, always, always a surprise. Holding on to anything is a waste of time. Knowing this, remembering this made me feel all the feels inside. I am bubbling, buzzing, excited, happy, grateful, appreciative and in such admiration for life, as it is. I’m diving back into the ocean with a smile on my face and full of awe.
Here, I can share with others, we can talk about our previous waves, how they felt and our falls. Are we used to them by now, is it still scary as the first time. We can share our stories about when we forgot how to swim, how deep we sank and what creatures we saw down there. We can also share about stormy waters and turbulent waves.
Now I’m going to rest and restore and enjoy the in-between to the fullest. Swim, float, soak it all in. Cause it is from this place I rise. It is from here I can catch it. It’s also from here I can dive deep down under the surface and have a look. I can give someone a hand. I can float and show how it’s done. I can see others catching their waves and cheer them on while resting, back supported and face up towards the sky. Patiently waiting. Happily enjoying and loving this beautiful, big ocean of possibilities.